You've struck a number of chords with me on this one. This is the first time I've used the word "polymath", myself, having been labeled a "Renaissance Man" earlier in life. I thought it was pretty great, studying multiple difficult disciplines in college and graduate school, while riding a motorcycle, practicing martial arts, composing music, programming for an online video game, even publishing poetry and a comic book. All at once. Because it was just fun for me to live that way.
And yet, for decades, my best friend has called me a "dilletante", as if the value of all these endeavors is diminished because I never felt like going all-in on one of them to be the next ultimate master of something to accomplish great things blah blah blah.
It took me a long time to realize that I actually was really great at something as a consequence of all this: synthesis. And then I realized that everything I'd ever done was dancing around the same general topic: systems. For me it's simply fun to "put unrelated things together" because, first, there is always an isomorphism between things that is fun to find, and second, it's fun to see or imagine the interactions. The goal is just enjoyment.
Then I married someone who, for a decade, demeaned me for doing things for my enjoyment. What was the point of anything if it wasn't providing for the family? Suddenly, every minute of my life was clouded by guilt and nothing was fun anymore.
And for me, if nothing is fun, I just don't see the point. I'm not simply here to serve others to enable their fun. They are welcome to join me or not. I'm not obligated to use my talents or knowledge for any else's benefit, though it may pleasure me to do so. Compelled utility is just another form of slavery.
For most of my adult life, I have said the point of doing anything is for the luxury of doing nothing. By "nothing" I really mean doing whatever I want. It's completely inverted from what society keeps pushing on us. I don't limit my relaxation time. I have always been able to provide. There are always opportunities for a curious person.
If I'm not the primary beneficiary of my own so-called efficiency -- if my actions do not allow for the world to more easily move around me instead of the other way around -- that's not an efficiency I'm interested in.
And don't try to guilt me with that enlightened self-interest tripe that all the good little drones are suckers for. "You lose for now but maybe someday." It's the same late bloomer attitude. Nevermind the goal posts will have moved by the time you bloom.
My best friend? Unemployed for years after failing at his all-in. My wife? Always busy as a bee with less to show for it than me, somehow. Maybe all that focus ain't what it's cracked up to be. Maybe it's okay there's no "point" to most of what I do.
We have had a bunch of talks on this theme, and every time I am becoming more convinced that just 'wandering' is ok.
It's not easy to justify (to others most of the time, to yourself as well some time).
Wander - if it's powered by your curiosity, then just keep at it. You are gathering building blocks that will help in future somewhere. May be. In pattern matching, or as stories to make a point. Or as a great reminder of the great journey you've had knowing things that you would not have known.
You've struck a number of chords with me on this one. This is the first time I've used the word "polymath", myself, having been labeled a "Renaissance Man" earlier in life. I thought it was pretty great, studying multiple difficult disciplines in college and graduate school, while riding a motorcycle, practicing martial arts, composing music, programming for an online video game, even publishing poetry and a comic book. All at once. Because it was just fun for me to live that way.
And yet, for decades, my best friend has called me a "dilletante", as if the value of all these endeavors is diminished because I never felt like going all-in on one of them to be the next ultimate master of something to accomplish great things blah blah blah.
It took me a long time to realize that I actually was really great at something as a consequence of all this: synthesis. And then I realized that everything I'd ever done was dancing around the same general topic: systems. For me it's simply fun to "put unrelated things together" because, first, there is always an isomorphism between things that is fun to find, and second, it's fun to see or imagine the interactions. The goal is just enjoyment.
Then I married someone who, for a decade, demeaned me for doing things for my enjoyment. What was the point of anything if it wasn't providing for the family? Suddenly, every minute of my life was clouded by guilt and nothing was fun anymore.
And for me, if nothing is fun, I just don't see the point. I'm not simply here to serve others to enable their fun. They are welcome to join me or not. I'm not obligated to use my talents or knowledge for any else's benefit, though it may pleasure me to do so. Compelled utility is just another form of slavery.
For most of my adult life, I have said the point of doing anything is for the luxury of doing nothing. By "nothing" I really mean doing whatever I want. It's completely inverted from what society keeps pushing on us. I don't limit my relaxation time. I have always been able to provide. There are always opportunities for a curious person.
If I'm not the primary beneficiary of my own so-called efficiency -- if my actions do not allow for the world to more easily move around me instead of the other way around -- that's not an efficiency I'm interested in.
And don't try to guilt me with that enlightened self-interest tripe that all the good little drones are suckers for. "You lose for now but maybe someday." It's the same late bloomer attitude. Nevermind the goal posts will have moved by the time you bloom.
My best friend? Unemployed for years after failing at his all-in. My wife? Always busy as a bee with less to show for it than me, somehow. Maybe all that focus ain't what it's cracked up to be. Maybe it's okay there's no "point" to most of what I do.
Thanks for the post. New sub.
(Edit: typos)
Brilliant one.
We have had a bunch of talks on this theme, and every time I am becoming more convinced that just 'wandering' is ok.
It's not easy to justify (to others most of the time, to yourself as well some time).
Wander - if it's powered by your curiosity, then just keep at it. You are gathering building blocks that will help in future somewhere. May be. In pattern matching, or as stories to make a point. Or as a great reminder of the great journey you've had knowing things that you would not have known.