#151 - Would you rather be disciplined or devoted?
Why do we value one at the cost of the other?
Jonathan Haidt in his book The Happiness Hypothesis offers this analogy, paraphrased here:
Imagine your rational side is a Rider and your emotional side is the Elephant it has to mind. The Elephant is big and demands all of the Rider’s strength to not run amok.
Discipline means the Rider is able to use his strength to make the Elephant walk the path that is best for it. At some point, given the nature of this interaction, sooner than later, the Rider runs out of stamina needed to command the Elephant.
Good night, discipline; night night, Rider.
Devotion means the Rider and the Elephant want to walk the same path. They are both persuaded the same so there’s no minding, no tug of war.
We covet the Riders of those who seem to have found a way to go far by making their Elephants submit to their instructions. We express this admiration by saying things like “You’ve such willpower” or “I wish I had your discipline.”
Our envy misses the point. The Rider may blame and shame the Elephant and break it down until it yields, but that Elephant will hardly go far. It will not care, it will look for a way out.
And no matter how strong the Rider, it will end up exhausted atop an unwilling Elephant.
Look closer at how the best go about their business and you’ll find that their Elephants and Riders are in harmony. The Elephants don’t need minding. They’re happy charging down the path they have set out on. There’s nowhere else they would rather be, little to fight about.
The Rider recognizes the Elephant’s spirit and the Elephant appreciates the Rider’s intention.
Who would you rather be: disciplined or devoted?
👋Hi, I’m Satyajit. Wecome to my newsletter. This newsletter studies human behavior with the goal of unpacking the patterns of thought underneath it for a better career and a better life.