#40 How TikTok reframes the making of human connection AND how to extract information like a gangsta
Motivation rituals, habit MVPs, job strain model, and more
Hi friends! ๐
Welcome to Issue #40 of Curiosity > Certainty!
Rory Sutherland, ad man, writer, and raconteur par excellence, articulates a thought that hits you in the head when you hear it. He says that pre-Daniel Kahneman (and Amos Tversky), we didnโt have a really good model for human psychology. Unlike mathematicians and physicists, psychologists and behavioral scientists lacked a latticework on which to hang their ideas (to borrow Charlie Mungerโs phrase). Come to think of it, this is very true for the vast population of knowledge workers as well. While we may understand, or at least be familiar with,ย models of engineering and physics and chemistry, we do not have a system to organize our thoughts in matters of the human mind.ย
Earlier in the week, I received an invitation for an in-person roundtable event. My first thought was, Let me make sure the event's legit and there are others queuing up for it. My next thought was, I hope itโs not just for anyone and it actually has value.
Itโs amazing how the contrasting mental models of social proof and scarcity can come into almost simultaneous effect. Both are levers of influence. Both work. But they are the opposite of each other. How do you decide when X is true and the opposite of X is also true? How does the human brain integrate both into one decision? And how are designers and innovators and entrepreneurs supposed to create solutions for human beings that work across situations? Praxeology is the study of human choice, action, and decision-making. I bet you didnโt know that.ย
I think the value of understanding consumer psychology in any professional skill is underrated. We think the world is logical when in fact it is more psycho-logical [to borrow from the book Alchemy]
This week I talk about TikTokโactually about creating a motivation ritual, which is a little strip of a routine you can paste anywhere in your day to create a powerful effectโand about, to borrow a product term, creating a habit MVP.ย
And then we dive deep into two tricky challenges young managers and leaders faceโearning decision-making autonomy and extracting quality information.
Beat hard habits with easy motivation rituals
Thereโs a TikTok commercial doing the rounds. You may have seen it. Itโs called Mystery Apartment Girl.
Most ads pitch you the product. They say what it is, who it is for, when it can be used. This one does none of that. None of that matters for this ad to work.
What it does better than any ad I can remember plays out in two parts.
โ#1: It brings out the why behind any habit.ย
The cause of habits, as James Clear says, is to satisfy basic needs. Find food, love, acceptance, certainty. These needs are common to all. They are context-independent.ย
The MAG commercial establishes this context-independence by answering the question: Why do humans share experiences?ย How it does so elevates the commercial to the status of onboarding material for aliens looking to understand us.
โ#2: It tells you no matter how you connect with fellow humans, TikTok just makes it better.ย
TikTok takes you from mundane to interesting. The next time youโre tongue-tied or hustling make an impression, you only need TikTok. It can get a conversation going anywhere. It provides the activation energy for a positive change to happen.ย
Thereโs something else that has a similar effect. Itโs called a ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ถ๐ข๐ญ. Think of it as a pre-habit ritual that automatically gets you into a desired state of mind. It is what you associate with something enjoyable, so that whenever you do it, you slip into a state of enjoyment.
James Clear outlines a simple 3-step process:
โก๐
๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ ๐๐จ๐ข๐ง๐ : hugging your child, playing video games, sketching.
โก๐๐ง๐ฌ๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ก๐จ๐ซ๐ญ ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ฅ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ก๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฒ ๐ก๐๐๐ข๐ญ. Take three deep breaths and smile. This creates a positive association between the ritual and the happy state.
โก๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ฅ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ง๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐จ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ญ๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐. Now whenever you take three deep breaths and smile, your mind relaxes. The ritual becomes the cue for your brain to switch to a happy state ๐
It may sound simple. That doesnโt make it any less effective. Next time you find yourself getting into a habitual negative state, do your motivation ritual. It is your cue for feeling happy.
Just like TikTok reframes the association we have about connecting with humans (itโs exciting, not daunting!), a motivation ritual does it for a bad habit (itโs easy to beat).
You can watch the ad here.
If this piece, or my writing in general, sparked a thought in your head, I would love it if you could leave a comment telling me so.
Building a habit MVP and getting 1% better every day
Product managers and designers are obsessed with reducing friction for users. Itโs not unusual to find them laboring over the smallest detail, like the placement of a text field or the number of clicks to checkout. While to the untrained eye it may seem like making a mountain out of a molehill, the golden rule for any habit-forming product is to make it easy for users.
We can apply the same rule to building good habits as well. Our only real motivation is to be lazy. We are wired to make no effort at all, if we could. So we look for the path of least resistance. Our energy-conserving selves tend to quit things that tire us.ย
Thankfully, thereโs a hack. We require less and less effort to continue doing something. If only we could get started we can be reassured that later would be easier. That makes habit-starting the main challenge.
๐๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐๐๐ก ๐ญ๐จ ๐ก๐๐๐ข๐ญ-๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ง. ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ข๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ช๐ฎ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ ๐๐๐๐จ๐ซ๐ญ ๐ง๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐ ๐ง๐๐ฐ ๐ก๐๐๐ข๐ญ.ย
This is what product managers do with a minimum viable product (MVP). ๐๐ฎ๐ข๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐๐ฎ๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฅ๐ฏ๐๐ฌ ๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฆ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ซ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ก๐จ๐จ๐ค๐ฌ ๐ก๐๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐. Because once the customer is hooked, it is more effort for her to stop using the product than to continue using it.ย
You can take this concept and apply it to habit formation. Your goal is to design a habit MVP. A habit MVP is the smallest chuck of a routine that fits into yur life without disrupting it such that you can perform it repeatedly without needing motivation.
As the action becomes habitual, its scope expands as you feel less physical or cognitive load to perform it.ย
Just like it is a lot easier to start a running habit with 10 minutes of jogging a day and gradually ramping it up, instead of 10 miles on the first day and then nothing ever again. Anyone can become 1% better every day ๐ด๐ฒ๐๐
Motivation is a tax we pay to do hard things. It would be best if we didnโt have to because weโre scrooges at spending energy. A habit MVP is tax-exempt. It is built to last without motivation. That is the beauty of it.
โAs a young professional, how can I earn the freedom to make decisions?โ
Early career can be a hard time. Youโre hungry to create impact. But you get bogged down by micromanagement, or by having to influence without authority, or you burn yourself out in the process of trying to prove your worth.ย
It need not be like this. Hereโs what I have learned.
Two elements, more than anything, contribute to our feeling of having made a difference and, by extension, work satisfaction. This is the โjob strainโ model (Karasek, 1979).ย
โDecision latitude, or the freedom to take work-related decisionsย
โPsychological demand, or work pressure
Many early career folks believe, like I used to, that their first big success will earn them the space to make their own decisions. But earning your stripes does not automatically lead to decision latitude. Your boss, business priorities, nature of workโone or all of these may change.
Itโs important then to learn to create decision-making space for yourself. Hereโs a suggestion: Make your boss your ally. There are a number of reasons to do so, the most important being your bossโs success is in your success.
Framing the problem thus energizes you to find ways to make the existing arrangement work. Here are 5 ways you can go about creating decision latitude for yourself:
1๏ธโฃ Know what is important to your boss (whatโs her North Star),ย
2๏ธโฃ Know how she wants accountability ('how does she prefer being updated)ย
3๏ธโฃ Know what competence she takes pride in (donโt pit against her on her turf; leverage that to improve the quality of your output),ย
4๏ธโฃ Tell her what kind of autonomy is important to you (the most common ways are ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ and ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ, but what to do can be problematic*), andย
5๏ธโฃ Finally, ask better questions to break any deadlock (โwhat would have to be true for us to go with the alternative?โ)ย
A good way to kickstart this process is to make your own ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐๐ซ ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ฎ๐๐ฅ๐ where you capture all of this and more, and share it with your boss. It may even nudge her to reciprocate.
*Sometimes, you may face the inverse of this problem: ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ก๐๐ฌ ๐ ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐จ๐จ ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐๐ก ๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎโ๐ซ๐ ๐๐จ๐ง๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐๐ ๐๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐จ. As a first-time manager I was guilty of giving autonomy without direction. This can be disorienting for young workers. The onus is on you to bring it to your managerโs notice because it is possible sheโll be, just like I was, surprised that someone wants to give up autonomy.
Piecing together the truth as a young manager
Two situations common for a young manager:
1๏ธโฃ ๐๐ก๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ ๐ ๐ญ๐๐ฅ๐ค ๐ญ๐จ, ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐จ๐ง๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐ญ.ย
The product manager says engineeringโs not sticking to timelines; the tech lead says that the specs arenโt clear; and the project manager says that their time goes setting up meetings. And oh, everyone says theyโre working really hard.ย
If you lead a team, how do you build your own map from different viewpoints?ย
โThe first thing you can do is ๐๐ฏ๐จ๐ข๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐, which is to not trust your team. So, believe them when they say that theyโre working their darnedest and accept that their complaints are genuine. Because theyโre most likely true.
โThen ๐ ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐๐. What youโve with you from your reports is second-hand information, which is possibly a version of their reportsโ distillations. Itโs the classic map-versus-territory problem. Replace looking at the map with walking on the actual terrain.ย ย
โFinally, ๐๐ฌ๐ค ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ข๐ฅ๐๐ ๐ช๐ฎ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ. Be ready to look stupid. Filter responses by motivations. The classic principal-agent problem.ย
These steps are hard and if thereโs one outcome guaranteed at the end of it, it is that youโre now closer to reality. Accept this or youโll be humbled time and again.
2๏ธโฃ ๐๐ก๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ ๐ ๐ญ๐๐ฅ๐ค ๐ญ๐จ, ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐๐ซ๐ง
Clashing versions aside, ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฆ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ ๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐๐ ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ โ๐ฌ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ข๐ง๐. And then thereโs some inevitable hiccup and the launch gets delayed or itโs a buggy release or whatever. When someone tells you that everythingโs fine, understand first if theyโve thought deeply about the problem theyโre trying to solve. Or if they have just regurgitated something passed on to them by their direct reports. Shit travels up too.
A way to pick this out is to ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ซ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ฒ๐ฌ. Soon enough, if the person hasnโt thought enough, theyโll hit rock. If they have, theyโll just keep going.ย
Whether you hear multiple versions of whatโs going on or the same superficial version from all, it is your job to scratch that surface. As a leader in charge of diverse business units, I donโt recall feeling confident enough in my intuition to simply pick out signs and go with my gut. I preferred to put myself through the paces, and found that it became a little easier with each try.
How do you get to the truth?
Thatโs it for this week. Thanks for reading!
Let me know what you made of the issue. I would be delighted to hear from you. Spread some โค by sharing it with a friend or two.
Until next weekโฆ